I<\/span> like being a twin. It defines who I am,\u201d Lavinia Osbourne tells me on the 49th birthday she shares with her sister, Michelle. \u201cIt\u2019s amazing to have a twin and have a built-in friend for ever,\u201d Michelle says. \u201cI\u2019ve been really blessed to go through this journey with someone else.\u201d<\/p>\nLavinia and Michelle know that those of us who haven\u2019t shared a womb with a sibling can be fascinated by twins: their similarities, how they differ, whether there\u2019s any kind of mysterious synergy between them.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s twin magic. It does exist \u2013 it\u2019s a thing,\u201d Michelle says. \u201cI can feel when she\u2019s upset, and she can feel when I\u2019m upset.\u201d They have even felt each other\u2019s physical pain, Lavinia says. \u201cThere was a time when she spilled hot water on her leg, and I felt it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lavinia and Michelle aren\u2019t identical twins. They share the same striking eyes, but the lower halves of their faces are different. Their personalities differ, too: Michelle describes herself as a \u201chomebod\u201d, an introvert who would prefer to mark her birthday with a candle on a sponge cake, whereas Lavinia, the self-proclaimed \u201cexuberant\u201d twin, wants to make a night of it at a Cuban cabaret show. They\u2019re speaking to me separately from their homes in south London. They exchanged cards, gifts and hugs earlier this morning, when Michelle was on the school run with her son.<\/p>\n
Twins can exist at different poles, Lavinia says. She went to live in Barcelona in her early 20s; Michelle moved to Iceland soon after. \u201cI moved to a hot country, she moved to a cold one, but we still went more or less in the same timeframe.\u201d They both started very different businesses within a few years of each other: Michelle has a sewing company (she was a contestant on the first series of The Great British Sewing Bee); Lavinia runs a platform for women who work in blockchain. \u201cWe do things that are parallel, but opposite,\u201d Lavinia says.<\/p>\n
Despite their differences, Michelle and Lavinia share two things that will bind them together for life. First, their precarious childhood, in which they were passed from home to home, school to school, carer to carer, and the only thing they knew for sure was that they had each other. And, second, the almost inconceivable circumstances that brought them into the world, and which only came to light four years ago, when they were 45 and both took DNA tests from the genealogy firm Ancestry.<\/p>\n
Their results of those tests revealed something never before documented in British history. Lavinia and Michelle are twins who grew together in the same womb, were born from the same mother, and delivered within minutes of each other \u2013 but have different fathers.<\/p>\n
H<\/span>eteropaternal superfecundation \u2013 the vanishingly rare biological process to which Michelle and Lavinia owe their existence \u2013 is both a mouthful to say and a mind-boggling concept to grasp. It happens when a series of very unlikely events occur at precisely the right time. A woman has to release more than one egg during the same menstrual cycle. She has to have more than one partner during her fertile window. More than one egg must be successfully fertilised, with sperm from different men, and the resulting embryos need to survive long enough to become babies. Michelle and Lavinia are twins and<\/em> half-sisters.<\/p>\nFewer than 20 such cases have been documented worldwide. It\u2019s impossible to know the actual total, because cases come to light only when both twins take DNA tests. Even non-identical twins can safely assume if one takes a test, the results will be almost the same for the other, because they should share the same proportion of maternal and paternal genes. Non-identical twins might take DNA tests for health reasons, to see if one is carrying a particular gene the other does not \u2013 or because they have doubts about their ancestry.<\/p>\nCelebrating their 30th birthdays in Marrakech, Morocco, in 2006. <\/span> Photograph: courtesy of Lavinia Osbourne<\/figcaption><\/figure>\nLavinia and Michelle did not know it was possible for twins to have different fathers when they spat into their saliva collection tubes and sent their samples off to be analysed. They took the tests after Michelle became determined to find answers to questions that had troubled her all her adult life. Why did she have so little in common with the man their mother told them was their father? What made their mother so willing to be absent from their lives? Why were there so few photographs of her and Lavinia when they were little?<\/p>\n
Their Ancestry results shattered everything they thought they knew about their shared identity, and raised more questions. What must have been going on in their mother\u2019s life when they were conceived?<\/p>\n
L<\/span>avinia and Michelle were born in 1976 in Nottingham to a 19-year-old single mother. They were delivered prematurely, via an emergency caesarean section. \u201cI was supposed to be born first, but the umbilical cord was wrapped around Michelle\u2019s neck, so she was pulled out first,\u201d Lavinia says. \u201cI\u2019m actually a minute older,\u201d Michelle explains, with a cheeky smile. \u201cI\u2019m glad \u2013 her being older would have been torture.\u201d<\/p>\nMichelle says her mother told her when they were babies she used to nestle them in her jumper to keep them warm. \u201cWe\u2019d just be two little heads underneath her jumper with her head in the middle. That sounds like love. But those stories were few and far between.\u201d<\/p>\n
When I ask Lavinia and Michelle to describe their lives growing up, the first word they both choose is \u201cdifficult\u201d. \u201cToday, my mother would be classed as a vulnerable young adult,\u201d Michelle says. Part of the Windrush generation, she had arrived in the UK from Jamaica when she was five. \u201cShe suffered abuse at the hands of her stepfather and was in and out of foster care and children\u2019s homes because it wasn\u2019t safe for her to be at home.\u201d Hers was a churchgoing family, and terminating any pregnancy was never an option. \u201cHaving two babies at 19 \u2026 I can\u2019t imagine that was a good time for her.\u201d<\/p>\n
In her mid-20s \u2013 when her twins were about five \u2013 their mother got a place at university in London. \u201cIt gave her the ability to not have to be a mum,\u201d Lavinia says. \u201cPhysically and emotionally, she was always out of reach. I missed my mum terribly.\u201d When the moving van was parked outside their home ready to take their mother away to her new life in London, Lavinia threw her teddy bear \u2013 one of the few toys she possessed \u2013 into the back. \u201cI thought, if the teddy bear is there, then I\u2019m going with my mum.\u201d But Lavinia and Michelle were left behind in Nottingham with their mother\u2019s best friend\u2019s mother \u2013 a woman they called Grandma.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen you\u2019re not blood relatives, you\u2019re not always prioritised,\u201d Michelle says, diplomatically. Lavinia is more forthright. \u201cWe were fully aware we were not her real grandchildren. There was this sense of lack, of unworthiness.\u201d There were harsh words, and beatings, she says, and they were always hungry. \u201cEven as a child, I knew putting water in your cereal was not normal.\u201d<\/p>\n
While Lavinia was distraught at being separated from their mother, Michelle was more pragmatic. \u201cI was able to detach,\u201d she says. \u201cI was fine: I had my sister. It was her and me against the world.\u201d<\/p>\nLavinia and Michelle (back row, second and fifth from left) at primary school in London.<\/span> Photograph: courtesy of Lavinia Osbourne<\/figcaption><\/figure>\nWhen they were about 10, their mother sent for them to join her in London: she was in a new relationship and had given birth to their half-sister. \u201cThat was a kind-of happy time, because Mummy had brought us back into the fold,\u201d Michelle says. But it didn\u2019t last. Their mother\u2019s new partner refused to bring up another man\u2019s children, so they were sent to live with one of her old foster carers. They went back and forth to Nottingham, living with different relatives or people from their mother\u2019s church. \u201cShe was always trying to get rid of us,\u201d Lavinia says. \u201cThat was hard. But I\u2019d become accustomed to it, and as long as I was with Michelle, I was fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
Their mother had always told them their father was called James. \u201cHe was my mum\u2019s boyfriend, I suppose,\u201d Lavinia says. \u201cFrom what I was told, when my mum got pregnant, he wasn\u2019t happy.\u201d They didn\u2019t know him when they were little, but he came back into their lives when they were 14, albeit intermittently. \u201cHe always had one foot out the door,\u201d Michelle says. \u201cI think his mother used to whisper in his ear, \u2018Those girls aren\u2019t yours.\u2019<\/em>\u201d James came to a few school plays, and put on an 18th birthday party for them, which Lavinia describes as \u201cone of the worst birthdays of my life \u2013 it just was awkward\u201d, but ultimately he drifted out of their lives.<\/p>\nMichelle says she always doubted James was their father, but Lavinia recognised herself in him. And when she asked for reassurance, their mother was always emphatic. \u201cShe would say, \u2018Yes, he\u2019s your dad. You walk just like him, and you\u2019ve got a nose like him.\u2019 And I\u2019d be like, OK \u2013 that\u2019s who our dad is.\u201d It put Lavinia\u2019s mind at ease, but Michelle was never convinced.<\/p>\nIn year 13 at the Brit School<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\nBy 2010, Lavinia and her mother had become closer. \u201cAs an adult, looking back and understanding her circumstances, I could forgive her. We were in a good place. I was starting to have the relationship with her I really wanted \u2013 it wasn\u2019t perfect, but it was good.\u201d She pauses. \u201cThen she got sick, and I lost her again.\u201d At 54, their mother showed signs of early onset dementia.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen Mummy became unwell and wasn\u2019t able to formulate any sensible responses to my questions, I saw a picture of James,\u201d Michelle tells me. \u201cI hadn\u2019t seen him for a very long time. And I just thought, you don\u2019t look anything like<\/em> me. There\u2019s no similarity there. I\u2019m not going to have this. So I bought myself a kit.\u201d<\/p>\nOn Boxing Day 2021, Michelle took an Ancestry DNA test. It never occurred to her that, in taking a test for herself, she would also be finding out answers for Lavinia. \u201cI wasn\u2019t thinking about anyone else. I was, like, I want to dispose of this whole concept that this man is my father because, deep down, I don\u2019t believe he is. And then it occurred to me that Lavinia will also<\/em> learn this man isn\u2019t our father. And she wants<\/em> him to be.\u201d<\/p>\nLavinia was with Michelle as she spat into the plastic vial. At first she had been intrigued by what Michelle\u2019s DNA might reveal: what percentage of this or that ancestry they might have. But then Michelle explained that she was taking the test because she didn\u2019t believe James was their father. \u201cI was irritated by it,\u201d Lavinia says. \u201cWhy are we going to dispute what our mother said? I think also part of me didn\u2019t want to go down that rabbit hole because we knew there was sexual abuse in my mother\u2019s childhood. And she was dying.\u201d<\/p>\n
On 14 February 2022, their half-sister rang to say their mother had died. The twins went over to see her. \u201cI stood over her, and kissed her hand, and took it all in. Then my phone beeped,\u201d Michelle says. Only hours after her mother\u2019s death, her DNA test results had arrived.<\/p>\n
Michelle went into the hallway, fully aware today was a day for letting family members know the sad news about her mother, not for revelations about her father, but was unable to resist looking. In her results, she could see the names of other people who had taken Ancestry tests and shared DNA with her. She immediately saw James\u2019s last name didn\u2019t feature in her paternal line. But the name that did was very close to that of their mother\u2019s stepfather \u2013 the man who had abused her mother.<\/p>\n
\u201cSometimes people change surnames or spellings when they move from one country to another. The similarity between the names was something I couldn\u2019t ignore,\u201d Michelle says. \u201cThings were swirling around my head. Oh my God. Am I really<\/em> the product of this?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\nA<\/span>t this point, Lavinia still had every reason to believe she and Michelle shared the same father. She wanted to believe their mother had told them the truth \u2013 that James was their dad \u2013 so tried to rationalise what she saw, and didn\u2019t see, in Michelle\u2019s results. \u201cMaybe he hasn\u2019t done a DNA test. Maybe none of the family have. If they\u2019re not in the system, how can you find them?\u201d She smiles. \u201cLittle did I know what was to come.\u201d<\/p>\nMichelle became engrossed in unravelling her results so her worst fears could be confirmed or denied. The Ancestry app showed the proportion of DNA she shared with other people who\u2019d taken a test. She found a female relative on her paternal side who looked as if she must be an aunt, but she didn\u2019t respond when Michelle messaged her through the app. She found a picture of the woman on Facebook; she goes by the nickname Makeda.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe learned from other family members that Mummy and Makeda were good friends. Makeda used to have Rastafarian parties at her house in Leeds and Mummy would run away from the children\u2019s home when she was 18 and go to them. It must have been really nice for someone who grew up in homes to go into this family network of West Indian people.\u201d If Makeda was her aunt, one of her brothers had to be Michelle\u2019s dad.<\/p>\n
Michelle managed to speak to Makeda\u2019s daughter \u2013 her biological cousin \u2013 who told her Makeda has two brothers: Anthony and Alex. Anthony\u2019s daughter, Olivine, agreed to take an Ancestry test. It revealed that she and Michelle were cousins, not sisters, which meant Anthony was not her father. \u201cThe only other man left was Alex. Alex is the winner.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her newfound biological family had a warning for Michelle: Alex was not in a good place, and hadn\u2019t been for decades. \u201cHe\u2019s got a really soft spot in everyone\u2019s heart,\u201d Michelle says, carefully. \u201cHe\u2019s been ravaged by drugs and alcohol and vagrancy and homelessness and begging, and he\u2019s not the man he used to be, so I should prepare myself when I meet him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Within a day or two of Olivine getting her results, Michelle and Lavinia arranged to meet her in a restaurant in south London. More than three years on, Michelle still beams at the memory. \u201cOur beautiful cousin, Olivine. This beautiful girl. I just knew<\/em> she was blood.\u201d She pauses. \u201cLavinia wasn\u2019t so sure.\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cShe was warm and giving and embracing,\u201d Lavinia remembers. Olivine had brought them both a card and presents of potted plants. \u201cI was shocked, because my experience of family had always been toxicity and rejection.\u201d But then Olivine brought out photographs of her relatives. \u201cI was looking at them and thinking, I don\u2019t think these people are my family<\/em>. A part of me was still hoping the person I thought<\/em> was my dad was my dad.\u201d<\/p>\ndouble quotation mark<\/title><path d=\"M5.255 0h4.75c-.572 4.53-1.077 8.972-1.297 13.941H0C.792 9.104 2.44 4.53 5.255 0Zm11.061 0H21c-.506 4.53-1.077 8.972-1.297 13.941h-8.686c.902-4.837 2.485-9.411 5.3-13.941Z\"\/><\/svg><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"dcr-zzndwp\"><p>For about a month, I couldn\u2019t stop crying. She was the one thing that belonged to me, that I was sure of. And then she wasn\u2019t<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/aside>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Michelle and Lavinia don\u2019t agree on whose idea it was for Lavinia to do her own DNA test. Their memories, too, are not identical. \u201cI never did it thinking it would give me a different result to her,\u201d Lavinia says. But she had to do something about the doubts that were eating away at her. \u201cUncertainty and unknown, that\u2019s worse in a way. I wasn\u2019t curious. I just wanted confirmation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">The kit sat on Lavinia\u2019s shelf for months before she plucked up the courage to use it. \u201cMaybe subconsciously I knew.\u201d In the summer of 2022, Michelle had rented a holiday caravan, and Lavinia finally took her test there, with her twin. Less than three weeks later, she was at a concert at the Royal Albert Hall when she received the Ancestry results. She didn\u2019t look until she got home.<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Identical twins share virtually 100% of their DNA. Non-identical twins share roughly 50% \u2013 the same as any other full siblings. But in Lavinia\u2019s results, Michelle shared only about 25% of her DNA. A half-sibling.<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">\u201cOnce I saw it, I knew it was possible. I knew it was true. I felt shocked, I felt sad, I felt angry. I was angry with Michelle for having me go through this, because I just didn\u2019t want it \u2013 I didn\u2019t want this reality.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Lavinia immediately rang Michelle to tell her. But her twin wasn\u2019t shocked. \u201cI wasn\u2019t surprised we had different dads. We\u2019re so different,\u201d Michelle says. They have the same date on their birth certificates, but they have different fathers. \u201cI\u2019m still in amazement that this can actually happen \u2013 it\u2019s super weird, super odd, super rare \u2013 but, if I apply it to myself, it makes sense.\u201d<\/p>\n<figure data-spacefinder-role=\"inline\" data-spacefinder-type=\"model.dotcomrendering.pageElements.NewsletterSignupBlockElement\" class=\"dcr-173mewl\"><gu-island name=\"EmailSignUpWrapper\" priority=\"feature\" deferuntil=\"visible\" props=\"{"index":46,"listId":6016,"identityName":"inside-saturday","category":"article-based","description":"The only way to get a look behind the scenes of the Saturday magazine. Sign up to get the inside story from our top writers as well as all the must-read articles and columns, delivered to your inbox every weekend.","name":"Inside Saturday","frequency":"Weekly","successDescription":"We'll send you Inside Saturday every weekend","theme":"lifestyle","idApiUrl":"https:\/\/idapi.theguardian.com","hideNewsletterSignupComponentForSubscribers":true,"showNewNewsletterSignupCard":true}\"\/><\/figure>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">\u201cFor about a month, I couldn\u2019t stop crying.\u201d Lavinia shakes her head. \u201cShe was the one thing that belonged to me. The one thing I was sure of. And then she wasn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Michelle tried to reassure Lavinia that they were still twins, that she still loved her, that nothing had changed. But Michelle could see that everything had changed for Lavinia. \u201cShe felt like the tether had been cut.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Another of Lavinia\u2019s tethers was cut by the truths contained in her DNA results: James \u2013 the man her mother had said was her dad \u2013 didn\u2019t appear in them. Lavinia had no idea who her father was.<\/p>\n<hr class=\"dcr-z9ge1j\"\/>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\"><span style=\"color:var(--drop-cap);font-weight:700\" class=\"dcr-15rw6c2\">A<\/span> few weeks after they learned they had different dads, the twins met Michelle\u2019s father, Alex, for the first time. They had been invited to a wake for one of Michelle\u2019s newfound cousins. Michelle had 10 new half-siblings to meet \u2013 most about the same age as her. Alex arrived late, after the speeches had begun.<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">\u201cI saw this man skulk into the room. He was clearly under the influence of drugs, because he was sweating profusely. He didn\u2019t have any teeth. Family members were propping him up, fixing his clothes, making him presentable. Obviously his family love him very much, have taken care of him, seen his weaknesses and compensated for them for many years. But all I saw was a very broken man.\u201d Michelle went to give her father a hug, overcome with tears.<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Her new relatives had told her troubling stories about Alex. \u201cThere were whispers in the back of my head about this negative connection he and my mum could have had that could have resulted in her falling pregnant and burying it so deep. Why Mum kept it a secret and never, ever went back to Leeds,\u201d Michelle says.<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Lavinia had heard the same rumours about Alex. But she had mixed feelings when she finally saw him. \u201cIt\u2019s easy to make someone like that into the villain,\u201d she says. \u201cThere was anger, but also \u2013 I don\u2019t want to say pity, but I can\u2019t hate someone like that. I wish we could sit down and have a conversation with him, but we knew that was never going to be the case.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">A conversation wouldn\u2019t ever be possible. He might be her biological father, but he could never be anything more, Michelle tells me. \u201cThere\u2019s no relationship to have. It wasn\u2019t something I could continue with.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Michelle had her answer \u2013 but Lavinia had no interest in finding hers. As soon as she worked out that James couldn\u2019t be her father, she put her DNA results aside. She had become close with some of Michelle\u2019s new family. \u201cThey accept me, so we\u2019ll just move forward with that,\u201d she remembers feeling. \u201cI\u2019m good here. This feels safe to me. I don\u2019t need to find out anything more.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Her twin had other ideas. Like so many people who have taken at-home DNA tests, Michelle had discovered a passion for genealogical investigation. Lavinia had given Michelle her Ancestry password so she could see the shattering truth in her results; Michelle used it to log on and work out who Lavinia\u2019s father could be.<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Why was she so determined to find out something Lavinia didn\u2019t want to know? \u201cShe was stewing in not a great soup,\u201d Michelle says. \u201cThe truth sets you free.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">There was a name in Lavinia\u2019s test results, something to go on. But Michelle knew any inquiries had to be handled with care. \u201cI wasn\u2019t willing to share the information with lots of people because I don\u2019t want people to make judgments about my mother,\u201d she says. \u201cI don\u2019t want people to think that she was promiscuous. Even if she was, so what? But I don\u2019t want people to have the wrong idea about her. My mother went through a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n<figure id=\"dcca9745-e2d8-490e-a091-790bf394432f\" data-spacefinder-role=\"inline\" data-spacefinder-type=\"model.dotcomrendering.pageElements.ImageBlockElement\" class=\"dcr-173mewl\"><figcaption data-spacefinder-role=\"inline\" class=\"dcr-fd61eq\"><span class=\"dcr-1inf02i\"><svg width=\"18\" height=\"13\" viewbox=\"0 0 18 13\"><path d=\"M18 3.5v8l-1.5 1.5h-15l-1.5-1.5v-8l1.5-1.5h3.5l2-2h4l2 2h3.5l1.5 1.5zm-9 7.5c1.9 0 3.5-1.6 3.5-3.5s-1.6-3.5-3.5-3.5-3.5 1.6-3.5 3.5 1.6 3.5 3.5 3.5z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><span class=\"dcr-1qvd3m6\">\u2018The truth sets you free.\u2019 <\/span> Photograph: Alice Mann\/The Guardian<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Michelle found herself sleuthing until 3am, cross-referencing Ancestry names with Facebook profiles. Lavinia was related to a 19-year-old woman from Leeds. Just after Christmas 2022, Michelle managed to reach Nadine, the woman\u2019s mother. Over the phone, Michelle quizzed Nadine about her family history, and when Nadine mentioned that her father was called Arthur, Michelle felt a jolt of recognition: her mother\u2019s best friend had mentioned their mother was once seeing someone called Arthur, also known as Moon Foot.<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">\u201cArthur Moon Foot?\u201d Michelle asked. The phone went silent. Moon Foot was Nadine\u2019s father\u2019s nickname. Michelle had found Lavinia\u2019s father. He was still alive, and living in London.<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Nadine told Michelle she was coming down to London from Leeds the next day\u00a0to meet her and Lavinia. \u201cIt\u2019s that thing,\u201d Michelle says. \u201cWhen you find your kin, nothing can hold you back.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">But when Michelle rang Lavinia to tell her she had found her father, Lavinia was irate. \u201cI don\u2019t know why my sister has done this. I\u2019m so pissed,\u201d she remembers thinking. She softened once she spoke to Nadine on the phone. If her newfound half-sister was making the effort to come to London to introduce her to her father, then she would make the effort to meet them.<\/p>\n<aside data-spacefinder-role=\"inline\" data-gu-name=\"pullquote\" class=\"dcr-nyoej5\"><svg viewbox=\"0 0 22 14\" style=\"fill:var(--pullquote-icon)\" class=\"dcr-scql1j\"><title>double quotation mark<\/title><path d=\"M5.255 0h4.75c-.572 4.53-1.077 8.972-1.297 13.941H0C.792 9.104 2.44 4.53 5.255 0Zm11.061 0H21c-.506 4.53-1.077 8.972-1.297 13.941h-8.686c.902-4.837 2.485-9.411 5.3-13.941Z\"\/><\/svg><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"dcr-zzndwp\"><p>It must have driven mum crazy. She must have seen\u00a0something, felt something, but dismissed it, because \u2026 how?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/aside>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">On 29 December 2022, Michelle and Lavinia drove to Arthur\u2019s home in west London. They took the lift up to his floor, and when the door opened, her half-sister was waiting for her. \u201cI could see <em>me<\/em> in her,\u201d Lavinia says, her eyes wide. Then Lavinia saw Arthur, and learned he couldn\u2019t see her: he has glaucoma and is blind. \u201cIt was surreal.\u201d They had a meal together; Michelle did most of the talking, as Lavinia was in shock. \u201cAfter the dinner \u2013 I don\u2019t know why \u2013 I got up and gave my dad a kiss on his cheek,\u201d Lavinia says. \u201cI just felt compelled. In my head I was like, \u2018It\u2019s not his fault, Lavinia. He didn\u2019t know about you.\u2019\u201d After the meeting, Lavinia\u2019s half-sister took a DNA test which confirmed what they already knew: that Arthur was Lavinia\u2019s father.<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">It was the beginning of the kind of relationship Lavinia had always dreamed of having with a parent. She sees Arthur every few weeks, and Michelle often joins them. He has told them both they can call him Dad. \u201cMy dad has 100% embraced me,\u201d Lavinia tells me, with a huge smile. \u201cI am my father\u2019s daughter. He\u2019s exuberant, entrepreneurial, a go-getter, larger than life.\u201d Arthur earned the nickname Moon Foot because he was smooth on his feet like Michael Jackson; Lavinia has always been famed for her dance moves. \u201cMy dad\u2019s very family oriented \u2013 once he knows you are his, that\u2019s it.\u201d Lavinia\u2019s five new half-siblings and 15 nieces and nephews have welcomed both her and Michelle. \u201cWe said to both families, we come as one.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">In the space of a year, Lavinia had lost her mother and her status as a full sister to her twin. But she had gained so much. \u201cWhen I think about my dad, I feel like I have found a place where I belong. I feel comfortable and safe, and I\u2019m so grateful for that. Yes, it\u2019s been hard but <em>he<\/em> is the reason that makes it OK.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Michelle sees her biological father often, but in very different circumstances. \u201cMy business is based in Brixton, and he\u2019s one of the men that beg in the market, looking for money to pay for drugs. So, yeah, I see my father all the time. But he doesn\u2019t recognise me.\u201d<\/p>\n<hr class=\"dcr-z9ge1j\"\/>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\"><span style=\"color:var(--drop-cap);font-weight:700\" class=\"dcr-15rw6c2\">S<\/span>uch cases may be exceptionally rare, but more are likely to come to light now testing your DNA is so unremarkable that home testing kits are go-to Christmas presents. So many extraordinary truths are being revealed because of the casual way we take these tests.<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">\u201cI have this saying \u2013 all that\u2019s done in the dark will come to light,\u201d Michelle nods. \u201cThat\u2019s through the help of Ancestry and all of these websites. These acts that are committed in the dark will come to light, one day.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">The twins don\u2019t know for sure how they came to be conceived. Their mother is not here to answer that. \u201cI know there are secrets around it, which leads me to believe it can\u2019t have been a positive thing, but I won\u2019t ever know,\u201d Michelle says. When they asked Lavinia\u2019s father, he told them when he was living in Leeds, their mother once knocked on his door in tears. \u201cShe said something bad had happened,\u201d Michelle says. \u201cShe went to him because she wasn\u2019t safe, and was in shock.\u201d<\/p>\n<figure id=\"780116ee-ac1e-46f2-95c8-9bd00b7a0a79\" data-spacefinder-role=\"richLink\" data-spacefinder-type=\"model.dotcomrendering.pageElements.RichLinkBlockElement\" class=\"dcr-47fhrn\"><gu-island name=\"RichLinkComponent\" priority=\"feature\" deferuntil=\"idle\" props=\"{"richLinkIndex":74,"element":{"_type":"model.dotcomrendering.pageElements.RichLinkBlockElement","prefix":"Related: ","text":"\u2018No one wants a Nazi in their family\u2019: a German prisoner of war, a secret affair and the mystery of my dad\u2019s parentage","elementId":"780116ee-ac1e-46f2-95c8-9bd00b7a0a79","role":"richLink","url":"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/lifeandstyle\/article\/2024\/jun\/01\/no-one-wants-a-nazi-in-their-family-a-german-prisoner-of-war-a-secret-affair-and-the-mystery-of-my-dads-parentage"},"ajaxUrl":"https:\/\/api.nextgen.guardianapps.co.uk","format":{"design":10,"display":2,"theme":4}}\"\/><\/figure>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Given how similar Lavinia is to Arthur, and how much Michelle says she looks like Alex, I wonder whether their mother knew they had different fathers.<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">\u201cIt must have driven her crazy,\u201d Lavinia says, shaking her head. \u201cShe must have seen something, felt something, but just dismissed it, because it was like \u2013 <em>how<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">\u201cI feel like she saw our fathers\u2019 faces in her babies \u2013 that\u2019s why she was so neglectful and rejecting of us,\u201d Michelle says. \u201cThat can be typical for stories when the conception isn\u2019t always a positive one \u2013 at least that\u2019s my take on the situation.\u201d When their mother started showing signs of dementia, Michelle says, she couldn\u2019t stop apologising. \u201cShe was saying sorry, profusely, over an 18-month period,\u201d Michelle says. \u201cI\u2019d be saying, \u2018Mummy, whatever has happened in the past, it\u2019s OK: we\u2019re all grown up and we\u2019re fine. You don\u2019t have to apologise.\u2019 But no matter how many times I said it, she was feverish with the sorrys. So I think there was something there. In the back of her head, she knew.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Do they regret taking the DNA tests?<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">\u201cNo,\u201d Michelle replies, immediately. \u201cI know a hundred per cent of who I am. I think Lavinia and I have both equally gained more than we could ever have thought of. I don\u2019t feel like I\u2019ve lost anything. Lavinia does.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">\u201cI don\u2019t regret finding my dad \u2013 I\u2019m so happy I have a relationship with him,\u201d Lavinia says. \u201cI have forgiven my mum for everything. But she lied to me about something that\u2019s very, very important. I find out that Michelle is my half-sister, then I find out the person I thought was my dad isn\u2019t my dad \u2026 It\u2019s a <em>lot<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">When they first discovered they were half-sisters, it brought them closer, Lavinia says. But the differences between them can feel starker now. \u201cSometimes I just want to be with my sister, but I feel like she doesn\u2019t have the time, or she doesn\u2019t see it as important as it is for me. That has caused some friction between us.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">\u201cIt has created a divide and I\u2019m so sorry for that,\u201d Michelle says. \u201cI <em>love<\/em> my twin, though. I love her like I\u2019ve loved her from the minute I knew she was there. She\u2019s my twin sister, and nothing takes away from that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">Michelle and Lavinia know that the chances of them both existing at all are infinitesimal. \u201cWe\u2019re <em>miracles<\/em>. We are special. And our mother is special as well.\u201d Lavinia smiles. \u201cWe know this situation is very unique. And because of that uniqueness, and what we went through, and the fact that we <em>are<\/em> twins \u2013 we are always going to have a closeness that can\u2019t be broken.\u201d<\/p>\n<footer class=\"dcr-130mj7b\">\n<p class=\"dcr-130mj7b\"><span data-dcr-style=\"bullet\"\/> The Gift series 3 starts on 5 May at 9am on BBC Radio 4. All episodes are available now on BBC Sounds.<\/p>\n<\/footer>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I like being a twin. It defines who I am,\u201d Lavinia Osbourne tells me on the 49th birthday she shares with her sister, Michelle. \u201cIt\u2019s amazing...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1132,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/386885622546ef2b2a7ddfa1e06e79314bcb0d93\/0_422_6116_4892\/master\/6116.jpg?width=1200&height=630&quality=85&auto=format&fit=crop&precrop=40:21,offset-x50,offset-y0&overlay-align=bottom%2Cleft&overlay-width=100p&overlay-base64=L2ltZy9zdGF0aWMvb3ZlcmxheXMvdGctZGVmYXVsdC5wbmc&enable=upscale&s=0862d520070fa32b5f1ef0404f2fe7ed","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1131","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-rj"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rjbarrett.redirectme.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1131","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rjbarrett.redirectme.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rjbarrett.redirectme.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rjbarrett.redirectme.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rjbarrett.redirectme.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1131"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/rjbarrett.redirectme.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1131\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rjbarrett.redirectme.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1132"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rjbarrett.redirectme.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1131"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rjbarrett.redirectme.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1131"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rjbarrett.redirectme.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1131"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}